Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Advice for new CWMs

I often get surveys from CWM who are either returning to the work force after years at home or just had a baby. Both feel tremendous guilt about working. If you could give advice to a new CWM what would it be?


Nungari M. said...

I am a believer that motherhood is a calling and sometimes, work is also a calling too. I have three children under four and I am a working Mum. I am so sure that I am supposed to be working because I have a call of God in my life to change lives in Africa. To educate girls, to change policies and mindsets and i am convinced that this can only happen in the market place, so mu staying at home, may not change much of this. I have seen Gods' grace in my life and in my family too. I travel alot as well and God has a way of just balancing everything in my life. Giving me a great hubby who supports me and takes care of the kids while i travel and I wake up to Gods’ amazing miracles every day.

There times when I felt guilty but, I also realized that your conscience can also be ignorant to the extent that you feel guilty about things that you should not be guilty about. Nevertheless, others make you feel guilty; the society condemns you, your parents, and your parents’ in-law. And the most amazing thing that I heard from God when I was trying to be a mother hen- God said to me, “I am your God and the God of your children- I will balance it out for you as long as you wait on me and let me take control of your life”. That sealed it!

My kids are on school holiday now, and I have purposed to take leave from work when they are on holiday. So I have been home for the last two weeks, me and the kids and hubby and it’s been great.

Well, what I am saying it, for mothers, not all shoes fit all! Asses your situation, this will depend on your calling and context. In Africa, life is not so expensive, but mothers sometimes have to work to meet the demands of the family. For me, it awesomely rewarding be both a working Mum and a mother. GOD helps me to BALANCE! Trust Him, He knows your context and how your heart feels more than anyone does or will ever understand. Handover your guilty feelings to HIM- He knows how to sort them out.

So about guilt-No! No!…..He is our PEACE. PRAY about it!


My first comment would be to be patient and praying always. I've went through this twice and each time you feel like you're heart if being torn from your chest. But the pain lessens each day. This doesnt mean there wont be a "flair up" of sadness or guilt, but it will fade. so many times i've wanted to quit and my husband says, just do it...but i've never felt really led to quit yet. My children aren't in school yet, but soon enough i'm sure i'll experience a whole new side to a working mom. it saddens me to miss all they do, but i know that i will cherish the times i do have and be able to comfortably provide for my family.
So go ahead and cry new moms, but know there is joy in the morning.

Julie D said...

This hasn't been commented on in a while but i really needed to reach your encouraging words right about now!!!

Coach Kimberly said...

Julie D,

I'm sorry I haven't posted or anyone else has. I think one of the hardest things about being a new Mom is just feeling overwhelmed. It feels there is always something that needs to be done. One thing I would recommend is be patient with yourself and those around you. Also, be careful who you listen to. If those around you are negative then find encouraging voices to listen to. God is faithful and he knows how you feel. He is also there to talk to when you have the midnight feedings.

momma naenae said...

It was refreshing to read these comments and no there are other Christian women that work aswell and try to obey God in making a difference to those around as well. Momma naenae

Anonymous said...

I have to say I feel SICK about being a working mom. Y'all please pray for me, because I feel like I'm about to die, because i see my kids an hour per day. Maybe I'm lucky, but I've been waiting 3 years for Hubby to get a job, and honestly, it feels like I should stop praying. My kids are 8, 8 , & 6, and I've already missed half their lives. I want to stab myself in the stomach (not literally) because the pain of not being with them is too much for me to bear. really it is... please pray for me and for my husband to see how much I need him to get a job. I don't want to live with the regret I already have from missing so much. Please pray. I cry every weekend and most nights... and have for three years. this is ruining my feelings about my husband too. and yes, we are christians. :)

Coach Kimberly said...

Hi Anonymous,

My heart weeps with you. I hear your frustration and discouragement. You are in my prayers. I pray your husband will find a job. May God wrap you in His arms of love and care. He will never leave you nor forsake you. I also hope you have some good Christian girlfriends that can support you as well. Remember God loves you children even more than you do.