Monday, April 5, 2010

Open Comment Section

Here is where you can post any questions you may have or start new discussions.


thewife said...

Could we please talk about homes where the husband is the primary caregiver? I work full time and I'm working on a Master's degree in my field. We chose to have my husband work part time and take on the lion's share of the domestic tasks b/c my job offers more stability in a very rough economy as well as better medical benefits. It was what we needed to do to provide for our daughter. However, I feel very lonely and out of place in the Christian community with its emphasis on the domestic nature of motherhood. I sort of feel like our family is "alien" to the rest of the Christian community. Thoughts? Anyone else struggle with the same thing?

The Royal Buffington's said...

Oh, I reach I could just reach out and give you a hug! I feel the same way. I'm working full time so that my husband can finish school, but we didn't want to postpone our family either. I feel very segregated from my friends at church who all spend so much time together during the week. That's kind of why I joined this...I need some support!

Coach Kimberly said...

Hi the wife and the Royal Buffington's,

You all are not alone and there are alot of women in the CWM community that are in your situation. If you will look at March 2009 on the blog there is a posting about Stay At Home Dads that you may want to read. My prayer is the CWM community can support one another. Thanks for posting and welcome.

thewife said...

Oh, THANK YOU Royal Buffington! I appreciate your support so very much. I almost cried when you said you'd like to reach out and give me a hug. Virtual hugs right back to you! Coach Kimberly, thank you for creating this place for us to belong and to go for support from one another. I tried to find a pre-existing thread about SAHD's and the search didn't bring anything up. I found the thread you referred to and commented. Thanks!

Coach Kimberly said...

Hi Royal Buffington and thewife,

One of the things at CWM is we have virtual prayer partners. That is where women contact through email and pray for one another. It sounds like you two would be a great match. You two can either exchange emails here or if you don't want your email address public you both could send me your email address to and I could send it to each of you.

You are welcome for creating a supportive place. Hope you all have a great week.

thewife said...

I could definitely use that! I sent you my e-mail address.

Brenna said...

Modest clothing for teenage girls was a post done a while back. I thought I would give a couple great places I go to regularly... I have been shopping there a long time, I am now 26 & I still love the style & good prices. They had a warehouse burn down so they closed there online for a while but they will be back this summer. Such cute afordable stuff. Also another one I shop at regularly is you will love it!

Anonymous said...

I had a job interview yesterday at a Christian school. I graduated with a Master's degree last year in teaching and am looking for a job to support our household. I have three children 13, 11, and 3. However, during the interview when the principal found out that I had a 3 year old, he openly stated he would not hire me because he did not want any part of taking me out of the home--that my place was in the home. I am extremey bothered by this and agree that I'd like to be home full time with my youngest son, but how do I support my household when my husband has taken a pay cut and I need to work to provide for our household? Part of me agrees with this principal, part of me is angry and feels condemned??!!! Am I wrong for wanting to support my family--am I a bad mother because I have worked outside the home? I feel condemnded even as a woman that a possible future employer should make that decision for me me. I don't think this is Biblical or right. I need help understanding.

Coach Kimberly said...

Hi Anonymous~

Welcome to the CWM community. I'm sorry to hear what happened to you at the Christian school. I wanted to answer your question on several different fronts. My children attended Christian schools for many years and we saw all types of Christian schools. Some were extremely legalistic and fundamental and some were theologically very sound and not legalistic. Several of the Christian schools my children attended had teachers who children were preschoolers. So, honestly I think this is this particular principal's position and I don't see anyway he can back it up biblically. On the flip side a Christian school or any employer can make decisions on whom they want to hire. I do not think you are a bad mother for wanting to help support your family. I have heard from many women recently whose husband's have lost jobs and they are the sole income. In this economy it often takes two incomes to just survive not to be extravangant. Often, there is one income due to job loss. I think the most critical issue is that what does the Bible say not what I say or what your principal says. On the home page of there is an article about "What does the Bible Say about Christian Working Moms?". You may want to read it. The Proverbs 31 woman was definitely a working Mom. Also, what I have found in talking to hundreds of CWMs over the years is that if you are all ready feeling a little guilt about working it doesn't take much to make you feel more guilty; for example, the comment by this principal. I pray you can find a job where you are accepted for the decision you have made.

I know I was kind of long-winded. I hope I was able to help. Believe me you are not the only one who has experienced this kind of treatment, unfortunately.

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for your response. You're absolutely right, my guidance is scripture not friends, church, or even a legalistic principal.

I believe Satan used this situation to discourage me, discourage my talents and accomplishments, and most of all discourage me as a Christian. And you're right, it probably doesn't take much to make me feel more guilty than I already feel when I've had to leave my youngest child in daycare.

I was raised in a very legalistic church that in many ways I believe, treated women as the lesser of God's creation and I am extremely sensitive to this. I've just got to let this go and let God. Since this Christian school is very much a part of my church I'm fighting a bad attitude right now--but I realize that this is just an opinion and is NOT based on scripture. I just I wish I knew why some Christians are so down on working women and do their best to make us feel less than ok in our walk with Christ. How can we be salt and light to the world around us with these attitutdes?

Again--thank you for your comments and your web site. God Bless you for helping other women in this vital issue.


Coach Kimberly said...

Hi Beverly~

You are welcome. I truly wish Christians and churches would support CWMs more and not make distinctions. I know since you have little ones you may not have time to read, but two great books about women in the Bible are When Life and Beliefs Collide and Lost Women of the Bible by Carolyn Custis James. Both books do a great job of exploring the Bible and what is truly says about women. God designed us for a specific purpose and we can glorify Him in all we do.

If you haven't all ready signed up for the CWM newsletter, go to and click on newsletter to sign up. You will receive the newsletter by email twice a month.

I hope you feel less alone and know that you will not be judged here.