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- Kimberly Chastain is the Christian Working Mom Coach and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has a passion for encouraging and supporting Christian Working Moms. Find out more about Christian Working Moms at www.christianworkingmom.com
16 comments:
Does anyone besides me struggle with not only being a working mom, but also a working wife? My husband is a police officer, and while that presents special problems, I sometimes feel that he needs my attention more than my kids do. I feel stretced really thin.
Anonymous,
Hi! I certainly agree it is a struggle to balance marriage, children, work and yourself. How do we give time to everyone? I do think we have to be intentional about our marriage, that is easier said than done. Our children demand our attention and our marriage does not. I think if we can reserve time to even talk 15 minutes alone with our spouse each day that is a big first step and certainly plan dates. We don't have family close to us, so trying to go out on dates has always been difficult.
ABSOLUTELY!!! Sometimes I do feel overwhelmed and it is hard to balance everything. It is so hard not to feel "to tired" for the extra attention that men seem to require! =o) And I really don't mean that in a bad way~ It's just that they do need our love and support. And I don't think that they truely understand the demands that we have as a working mom/wife. Not only do we work, we help with homework, baths, laundry, breakfast/lunch/dinner, and the list goes on! I think it is our right to feel overwhelmed once in awhile! LOL Just don't forget to take care of yourself once in awhile, so that you will have the energy you need for your family!
Keep us updated on how things are going! I'll send a special prayer up for ya~
jenlon
1st I would like to thank you for having these open blogs. I don't usually participate however, I know that I do need a group of supporters and there is nothing like a Christian friend. Aside from struggling with the balance issue mentioned above, I struggle with not being able to communicate effictively in my marriage. When my husband is upset, he chooses to ignore me and not talk to me. I perceive this as him not loving me or not appreciating me. I keep trying to understand that everybody has different ways of dealing with issues and not to take it personally. I just keep going through the same struggle. Do I not value myself enough? Why do I feel the need for him to affirm his love for me when he deals in this way? Sometimes I get tired of praying, I get tired of the whole thing. I would love to be bold enough, or have more faith. If he doesn't call looking for me, I call him, he doesn't p/u. I do not know how to make the cycle stop. I wish I had an answer.
Hi Anonymous,
You are welcome for the open comment section. I think as women when our husbands are angry or irritable, we automatically assume it is us. Most of the time it probably is not, it is work or another situation. Sometimes I just point blank ask, "Are you mad at me?". Also, I have found writing things that bother me and giving them to my husband works better. It gives him time to think about it and it allows me to say exactly what I want to say. One of the most excellent marriage books I have read is Sacred Marriage and Sacred Influence by Gary Thomas. There are links on the resource page of www.christianworkingmom.com. Sacred Influence is particualy written for wives and it is excellent. It does not give simplistic answers, but gives answers that are indeed helpful. You may want to check them out. Also, I think our husbands, friends, children will always let us down one time or another, but God never lets us down. Rest in the knowledge that he loves you no matter what. Take care my friend.
I need to get in a prayer request please...it is for my mom. She has had trouble with her galbladder and pancreas for the last couple of years. She is having another surgery on Friday. The procedure is kinda risky, but will be ok if everything runs smoothly~ But I know she is nervous about it and I haven't told her but I have been having scary thoughts.... =o( I don't generally like to worry my kids with this stuff, but we told them last night that she has to go to the hospital on friday and we took them to see her last time she was in the hospital. I just told my husband last night that we had to tell them just in case....we originally were going to wait to tell them until we had the results.....but there is a slight chance that she won't make it thru the surgery. And believe me, she has been in the hospital alot in her lifetime and I've never felt like this!! I don't know if the thoughts are satan playing with me or God trying to prepare me...........prayers and words of encouragement would be wonderful right now~
thanks Jenlon
Jenlon,
I will certainly pray for your mother. May God surround you and your mother with peace. Also, know the outcome is in his hands. I do know about having terrible thoughts. My Mom recently had surgery and the same thing happened to me. I think we as women are great at worrying. Not what we are supposed to do as Christians, but it does seem to be our default mode. God knew before the world began how you would be feeling and what would happen. Please trust that he is in control. You all are in my prayers.
Jenlon,
Please update us and let us know how your Mom did.
Loneliness is such a huge problem for me. I am the boss in a new job and a new city. We're still visiting churches. I know new friendships need nurturing, but I don't see how I can do that right now. I'm feeling more and more needy.
Becky
Becky,
I have been in your shoes and it is not fun. I pray that God will meet your loneliness needs and that he will lead you to the right church and friends. Christian friends are so important. I hope your new job is going well.
Hello~ Mom did great on Friday. The procedure is over and the specialist didn't seem to think it is cancer! whew~ LOL. Anyway they still aren't exactly clear what is going on, but I KNOW that your prayers have helped (along with the prayer chain at my church). She has an appt next week because there are small cysts in her pancreas that they aren't sure about. But they said sometimes they are just there~ and don't effect anything. Please continue to pray that my mom will recommitt herself to God. She is the one who provided me with the knowledge of God/the Bible/Church, but she has let it slip from her life lately~
Thanks again!
jenlon
PS Becky~ just know that we are here if you need us. I don't know where you relocated to, but I helped my girlfriend find a church via internet in her area~ We looked at their website and then made calls to the pastors and found her a fabulous little church! =0)
Jenlon,
Praise the Lord!!! Thanks for updating us. I do pray this illness will bring her back closer to God. God has a way of getting our attention sometimes. Keep us updated.
anonymous...
i totally feel you- my husband is a police officer and i sometimes don't have enough grace to hear him when i need to. it has been very difficult for us as well
this is kind of off track, but it just seems like it has been quiet here for a few days? how is everyone doing? I have a praise to throw out also! My brother that was in the car accident is doing so much better and totally realized the wake up call he got! He had been backsliding from church and God lately and now is back to church and walking daily with God. I just saw him yesterday and he even looks happier~ glory to god! =0) Hope you are all having a good day.
jenlon
Hi Jenlon,
It has been quiet. Just to let everyone know I won't be on the blog for the next couple of weeks. I will be out of town and probably will not have computer access. You all keep everything going. I love how everyone supports one another.
Hi Jenlon,
Wonderful news about your brother. I pray he will continue to walk closely with God. Hope you are doing well.
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