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- Kimberly Chastain is the Christian Working Mom Coach and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has a passion for encouraging and supporting Christian Working Moms. Find out more about Christian Working Moms at www.christianworkingmom.com
9 comments:
My kids are in 5th and 2nd and I almost cried this year! My baby (2nd grade) is getting sooo big. The time just seems to go too fast.
back to school is always a fun day ~ my kids get to start the day with their favorite breakfast and I usually get to go in late and leave early so that I get to see them off and pick them up on the first day~ but the picking them up didn't work out this year. =o(
They still had a great first day though~
jenlon
Hi,
Yes I cried at my kids kindergarten experience. I think I cried nearly every day when they went off to school that year. Now it is a brief cry and my oldest is in college and the youngest in middle school.
Back to school means a whirlwind schedule after a peaceful slow paced summer and lots of together time with the family. I am juggling- as all CWM's do- with transportation, concerts, athletic events , work, cleaing and laundry just to name a few. This year I feel more stressed because school hasn't started yet and the athletics have already started.
So I have learned to not worry so much, give it to God and enjoy each season and day we are given. I sure missed the activities when the oldest graduated and went off to college.
Vicki
My little girl started kindergarten this year. She had gone to summer school just to get used to the routine of being in school, and I had taken her to catch the bus every morning for this. So, for me, the first morning of summer school was the first morning I ever sent her off to school. She did fine with this, but I put her on the bus and started to drive to work, and I cried all the way there.
Her going to kindergarten was easier for me. However, my hubby had not helped with summer school, but he was able to get the day off work the first day of kindergarten and go with me to put her on the bus. He had teased me about crying the first day of summer school, but putting her on the bus the first day of kingergarten was equally as difficult for him. The bus came, and she said, "Gotta go!", and she walked right on. My hubby looked at me in amazement and said, "She just gets right on. She doesn't cry or say she'll miss you or anything!" He was choked up by this time, and he kept talking about how little she looked on that great big bus. I had to reassure him that she would be fine and that it was a good thing that we had raised such a confident fearless little girl. He just kept saying, "She's growing up. I can't believe it. She's growing up."
This year, my 4th grade son started school in a wheelchair. He had foot surgery three weeks before school started. (Residual from a club foot at birth.) He is doing very well.
Normally I just drop him off and take off for work. This year I have to make sure I plan enough time (we haven't been late once yet!!) I have to park (I got permission to park in the bus drop off lane), unload and assemble the wheel chair (put on the foot pedals and head rest), help him into the chair, and push him to the door of the school. Then I go home and trade cars. (His chair won't fit easily into my Saturn sedan, so I drive him in my husband's Suburban.)
So what used to be a 5 minute routine, is now more like 20 minutes. But we only have one more week! (The doctor said he can start walking next Wednesday---6 weeks after surgery.)
My "baby" entered Kindergarten while my oldest entered 4th grade this year and yes, I cried.
Their first day was only a few hours and on a Friday. Thankfully I was able to see them get on the bus and then take a half day off work to greet them when they returned. I also switched my hours the first full week so that I could be there each day at the bus stop in am and pm.
The boys and I all have been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, so preparing for back to school several weeks in advance was our saving grace. We started out with adjusting bedtimes the first week, added some homework times the next and then balanced it all the final week.
Jessica,
It is so hard when the "baby" is the last one to start school. I know the feeling. You are one wise woman to start adjusting bedtimes before school starts. Being organized I think is half the battle.
I haven't posted in awhile (or read the posts), but now I'm able to access the blog - yeah!
My daughter started 7th grade, my son - 3rd grade and then I have a 4 year old. I am ok with my 7th grader, but having a hard time believing my 3rd grader is in 3rd grade. Seems like he has really matured over the summer and doesn't seem as childlike, which is a little sad. I'm really having a hard time with the reality that next year I will not have any children at home during the day. I think of their growing every day. I just can't imagine not having a baby or a preschooler at home. I'm finding this transition to be a hard one, which in some ways I did not expect. I always thought the empty nest crisis happened when they went to college. But for me the grieving over not having them so little and so intimate with me is really hard. Of course, I still have 1 year left with my 4 year old at home, so I am really trying to soak it all in.
I wonder if my working has contributed to the intense feelings of loss of this phase. Perhaps if I had stayed at home I would have felt I had my "fill".
It feels like a loss of identity and also loss of some hopes and dreams (such as having a larger family and staying at home)
I'm also 44, now. So I realize how much of life has passed and that I probably won't have more children (even though I'd like to). It really feels like the end of this era, which has been the best years of my life.
Can others share their experience of letting go of being a family with preschoolers and the continual process of the growing older family?
Thanks,
Cheryl
Cheryl,
Welcome back!!! I have missed you and your wisdom. I'm 44 as well my children are in 8th grade and 4th grade. I too sense time is passing by. In particular, family time when my daughter has youth things at church. Whenever I tell my husband they are growing up and I'm a little sad, he will tell me they are supposed to grow up. Moms and Dads are definitely different. On the flip side, now that my kids are older they are more things we can do and don't have to cart so much stuff with us.
Thanks for the warm welcome back. Yes, men do see things differently. My husband has moments of pondering and sadness about them growing up, but for the most part just enjoys them day to day without much thought to the past or the future. That's probably the better way to be. He really doesn't miss having a baby around - although he did enjoy them as babies. For me there is a bit of a void, but I know that is just part of life.
Cheryl
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